There is a national holiday called Mother’s Day

Sentimental Hallmark cards, flowers and brunch are the usual ways to celebrate this day

To celebrate the women who are mothers

What does mother mean?

Is it a celebration that a woman gave birth to a baby?

Or is it a celebration of a woman who nurtured and cared for children?

Someone who guided and helped children to grow into kind, caring, productive adults?

For some, Mother’s Day is difficult

The reasons for this are varied

Perhaps a beloved mother has passed away

Perhaps a mother is unknown

To others there are bad memories of abuse and mistreatment

One of the ten commandments is to honor thy mother and thy father

But are there exceptions?

What happens when the only way to find peace in your life is to not associate with your mother?

Should there be guilt in not celebrating someone who gave birth, but did not give love?

Is it a sin to not “honor” the woman who used and abused you?

What do you do when none of the cards on the rack say what you feel?

Is it a lie to buy a card and send it when the message rings hollow?

And why bother when it’s never enough?

Perhaps it should be a reminder to celebrate the women figures who stepped in

The women who were mother surrogates during all the times I needed a mother figure in my life

My childhood friend’s mom, my ex-mother-in-law, friends who were older than me

And now someone who I’ve known most of my life who was my mother’s friend while I was growing up

These women I celebrate because they didn’t have to love me

They didn’t give birth to me

But they gave me love and guidance even though I didn’t have their DNA

I’m honored to have been called Daughter #4, Daughter “in-law”, and my other daughter

These women I celebrate today on Mother’s Day

They epitomize the word mother

Having enough love to share with their own children as well as somebody else’s child

To those women who are nurturers and have given me love and guidance

I thank you and loudly proclaim

Happy Mother’s Day!